I have a friend, and she’s very dear to me.
Yet, every time I call this friend, I know what to expect: a 30-minute rant about anything challenging, unpleasant, or unfair.
She occasionally concentrates on the people who, in her opinion, have done her wrong, while other times, she explores the overarching despair of life. She rarely checks in with me on the phone to see how I’m doing, and she never pays attention to me for more than a minute before returning the conversation to herself.
I tell myself I call because I care, but there are moments when I question whether I am calling for other reasons, such as boosting my ego by giving wise counsel or simply feeling better about my reality.
I’m not a saint, but if there’s one thing I know for sure, we only consistently do things that we think would benefit us, even if it’s only the feeling of desperation.
When a reader recently asked me an intriguing question: “How do you express compassion to someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it?” I gave this some thought.
I agree that everyone deserves compassion, but after reading more, I realized what she meant.
She continued by describing her nasty, sexist, and racist boss, who drains everyone around him of their emotions. In contrast to my incredibly melancholy friend, he sounds far more hostile.
However, these individuals have one trait: an endless supply of negative energy that eventually affects everyone in their circle.
I began to consider how we deal with unpleasant or challenging people today. People that exhibit these traits frequently: are unpleasant, aggressive, outraged, or critical.
How can you keep your positivity intact when someone consistently drains everyone around them without succumbing to their plight?
How can you behave so that you don’t contribute to their negativity and perhaps even assist them?
Eckhart Tolle is right when he says that “unhappiness or negativity is a disease on our planet.” Negativity exists on a deeper level than pollution does. It is a shared characteristic in our combative and competitive culture, where everyone wants to be recognized and rewarded. It seems to affect every aspect of our culture, and it is incredibly difficult to avoid its influence.
But what if I tell you that you can deal with all this negativity outside and inside of you?
Yes, you can deal with and channel positive energy even around negative people by practicing this magical prayer– Ho’oponopono.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. I thank you: the Ho’oponopono prayer.
How Ho’oponopono Can Help Deal With Negativity Around You
A cognitive process is not what Ho’oponopono is. It is an energetic, spiritual, and emotional procedure. Why I believe it works:
- Ho’oponopono causes a transformational shift from the habit of blaming others for our bad circumstances or even theirs to one of accepting responsibility even when it has nothing to do with us.
- When we take ownership of our actions, our innate capacity for forgiveness and love acts as a catalyst for both our own and other people’s recovery.
- Numerous societal studies and personal experiences have demonstrated that, despite our outwardly self-serving aspirations, we want to be of use to other people. This prayer offers that chance.
- Finally, we can release the conditioned baggage of negativity and develop by reflecting on what in myself produced this hostility in someone else.
Related: Ho’oponopono Prayer: The Right Way To Practice & Manifest
How To Deal With Negativity Using The Hawaiian Prayer Ho’oponopono
1. Refrain From Passing Judgement Or Assuming
It’s difficult to show compassion to someone when you think you know who they are. He is rude. She has a bad attitude. He is-insert another suitable noun-. We must remember that it is conceivable, even though it may seem impossible, that someone will wake up one day and act differently.
Negative ideas manifest themselves in your body language. Someone prone to being negative could be all too inclined to reflect that. Try approaching them with the optimistic outlook you wish they possessed. Be optimistic about them. Never assume that you won’t be pleasantly surprised at some point.
2. Keep A Healthy Distance
Some might advise you to picture a bright white light surrounding you to keep a happy attitude, while others try to bring negativity into the room. Because I respond to ideas in words rather than images, this doesn’t work for me. “I can only control the positive space I generate around myself,” I tell myself.
Secondly, I attempt to accomplish the following when I interact with negative people:
- Keep the area around me positive.
- Leave when their negativity becomes too strong for me to contain.
Helping people feel happier instead of making them act happier is more likely to produce the desired outcome.
3. Disarm Their Negativity, If Only For The Time Being
This connects to the concepts I outlined earlier. As long as I permit it, my depressed friend will talk about the inequities of life. A part of me wants to play amateur psychiatrist and get her talking so I can try to help her see things more positively.
I then tell myself that I cannot alter her entire personality in a single phone conversation. She must desire that. I also can’t listen for extended periods as I used to. But after a brief period of empathetic listening, I can assist her in focusing on something constructive right now.
I can remind her that today would be ideal for a stroll.
Don’t attempt to fix or solve them. Try to assist them right away.
4. Be Mindful Of Your Feelings
Negative people frequently gravitate toward others with strong reactions—individuals who readily extend sympathy and become indignant or insulted. I imagine this helps people feel less alone in their rage or despair by providing a small amount of light in the shadows of their inner world.
People take note of and learn from what you do more than what you say. If you react emotionally to the circumstance, you’ll educate them to rely on you for a response. We all tend to react. Therefore it can be challenging to control our reactions.
Once you’ve listened patiently for as long as you can, react as coolly as possible with a straightforward statement of the truth.
Change the topic to something irrelevant if you’re speaking with a disrespectful person.
5. Practice Affirmations
This reliable technique is recognized to change viewpoints and attitudes. Affirm your likes or desires as you start your day. Make a list of three achievements every day, month, and week. Affirmations keep you motivated and give you a feeling of contentment.
6. Be In The Company Of Uplifting Individuals
Keep an eye out for happy, spirited individuals to become your friends and coworkers. You can enjoy their enthusiasm and put it to good use in your interactions with other people.
Recollect only good recollections. Remember a happy memory from the past whenever you feel the pull of negativity starting to drag you down. Harvest these enjoyable moments repeatedly.
7. Search For The Bright Side
Not just a pop song, though. Great spiritual teachers advise searching for a positive outcome from overcoming adversity, obstacles, or recurring difficulties.
8. Express Gratitude
The importance of saying “thank you” from the bottom of your heart
I’ve previously written extensively about the effectiveness of thankfulness. Its significance of it cannot be emphasized. Thanking someone or something for contributing to your life can have a huge positive impact. By being grateful, you teach your heart to be open to receiving more love, joy, presents, assistance, or whatever else you require to advance.
Saying “thank you” to someone with whom you have a broken connection might alter the circumstances of that relationship and enable both parties to be more accepting of one another. By saying “thank you,” you acknowledge the goodness and good of someone or something. Both the speaker and the receiver are given hope and encouragement by it.
Gratitude generates greater space for other good things to emerge and be received since it confirms and reinforces what is good.
9. Love Is The Greatest Magic
Though love works miracles, repentance, forgiveness, and appreciation are potent cures. The actual magic takes place there. Saying “I love you,” even to someone who had been on your “do not speak to” list for a while, has effects that are beyond your comprehension since it doesn’t work with your preexisting thought or emotional patterns but rather with a deeper connection to the mystery of life all around you.
Love is an act of abandonment and faith. It entails giving up your anxieties, fears, and suffering to a greater frequency and power. If you allow yourself to do this, you will begin living again and coming to terms with your complete being and life.
Love From Your Coach
I constantly wish my friend could be more cheerful. I frequently put myself in uncomfortable circumstances because I want to be of service, and I want her to be content. I’ve lately concluded that the greatest thing I can do is accept her for who she is, tell her I think she can be happy, and then allow her some space to decide.
I’m hoping that one day she’ll want to change. All I can do right now is love her while also having enough self-love to care for my needs. That frequently entails placing them first.
I’ve discovered that while you can’t always save the world, you can improve it by working on yourself. Doing so can help you become more self-aware, compassionate, and protective of your positive space. By developing an inner serenity that their negativity cannot permeate, you may even be able to influence negative people positively.
FAQs
1. Should I chant Ho’oponopono daily?
Yes, you should chant the prayer daily as often as possible. It’s a prayer to heal yourself and others around you. The more you practice it with intent; the better results will show.
2. How to move out of the negative people circle?
I understand it’s difficult to just walk out of a conversation where there’s only negativity. Still, you can change the topic of conversation and start a positive or pumped topic to change the vibe. If not, cleverly try to step out of the circle and maintain your sanity.
3. Can Ho’oponopono heal my relatives?
Yes, you can heal your loved ones along with you using the Ho’oponopono prayer. Just chant the prayer for them or ask them to do it. When they do it, they’ll feel a calmness and deep healing from the inside, ultimately changing their outer world.
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